My 20s have been a time of exploration and a game of curiosity. They have been, at times, quite trying. With that, they have also been full and rich with the pulse of adventure of discovering new careers (Zen Bird headbands), entertaining fun romances, exploring incredible places, and connecting with some pretty groovy friends along the way.
I’ve realized that this rich and mindful exploration always leads me to that point where I think, “I never would have guessed I would live in Phoenix, buy a house at age 25, quit my job after three years, start a company, date lots o’ lawyers, live in Spain for six months, feel really overwhelmed about life, love the heck out of life, etc.” I have no idea where my life will be three years from now. If I start projecting my expectations upon the future and what I “think” I know by holding up a road map to my soul and dictating it to take certain curves to land in the place I “want” to be, that just isn’t real life. It’s not genuine or authentic, and it’s better to learn that earlier than later.
Today I find myself with a semi-formed plan, but one that allows me to continue my adventure into the unknown, chasing what feels good and checking in with myself to say, "Alright, Girl, are you still feeling fulfilled by this? Does this still serve you in this moment? How does your heart feel?”
That grand PLAN we have for our future is really nice, and it is a beautifully painted picture without roadblocks, setbacks, or suffering. It comes with dashing romance, incredible lust of fulfillment, and a nice warm and fuzzy feeling in our hearts. That PLAN can sometimes cause us to move away from our heart space into settling, feeling trapped, and into a life we'd never imagined.
Trust me, I do believe in plans. I know what I am doing next month on the 18th of December, but I also believe in profound, positive, and enlightened derailment from that PLAN. I also believe in unexpected growth from spontaneous setbacks, impulsive decisions, and impromptu challenges. I believe in living with a zest for experiencing life in the present moment. I have faith that moments come into our lives for a reason, and that our paths are so incredibly crooked, intertwined, and magical because they lead us to new places with diverse people and exhilarating adventures.
These unknown paths and surprising encounters push us to grow in our heart space, and they crack open our creative souls while awakening our deep desires. These profound and mysterious journeys we lead, the people entering our lives, and chapters of life shape our story. They let us truly LIVE. Our book is being written as we are the footprints of our own unique words, forever passing through the novel of our one wildly magnificent life.
So as much as we think we have that grand PLAN, we really only have today. We have an idea, we have goals, and we have preparation for the future, but we truly do not know the outcome or the way that plan will make us FEEL. That plan, my dear friends, is what I am learning to shed and release. With that unraveling of expectations and projections I find a profound feeling of peace -- a stillness buried deep within my soul, of love and acceptance of the here and now.
It is time for exploring, creating a few plans with flexibility and grace, and finding that stillness of being right here, right now, in this precious moment. It’s a daily practice and it’s feeling better each and every day.